honey, i'm home

- so you know how when you eat a bag of chips or something and you're really bored, your eyes seem to wander over to the nutritional information (not because you care) on the back, and you are amazed at just how much bad shit is in it? then you feel kind of guilty. but it doesn't matter. so you keep reading. and then you get to the fine print. that's when you realize that there's seventeen billion and three calories in approximately eight chips!

- who eats eight chips?!?!

- so my dad recently went to scotland and brought back some chocolate,a nd i was kind of just sitting there, eating a bar of chocolate, and i glanced at the nutritional information. you want to know what the scots do?

- information for two bars of chocolate. two full bars!

- god bless them.

something dreamy

i wish i was poetic.

officer spanky pants

- i was having a terrible day yesterday, and after work i came out to my car and saw an alarming note on my windshield:

- 'this is a ticket. you are parked in the "aardvarks only" space. send eleventy billion dollars to owen.'

- and it was signed, 'the police.'

- yeah, i'm smiling.

ricky's not smartin

- if you've ever worked in retail, you're probably aware of the strategy of piecing/recovering/straightening done at the end of the night to make the store look clean and shoppable in the morning. this is a custom we practice at the toy store.

- often, one of the aisles for which i am responsible for piecing is the puzzle aisle.

- in the puzzle aisle, there is this gigantic puzzle poster of ricky martin. i am proud to say that no matter how messy and disgusting the store has gotten, no matter how many kids have missed the toilet or puked all over the place, i have never once had to readjust the ricky martin puzzle poster.

droplets of splendor

- i love the rain because it makes me feel safe. i feel like every little droplet is falling just to be with me. they witness the world as thy fall and then join together once they reach the ground. all the way down, they discover your secrets and hopes and loves and dreams, but they won't tell a soul - not even you.

- also... i think it would be really fun to have sex in a hammock while it's raining.

c'est l'amour

- you know it must be love when your boy brings you a shoe horn.

*sigh*

- you better believe he treats me right.

i'm totally bummed that school is happening again this year

- here's the deal. i'm eating lots and lots of rockets, i'm not wearing pants, and i got 2 hours of sleep last night (at most).

- yup, i'm savouring my last week of summer.