- the time has come. you need to learn about my experiences with llamas.

- in my town, there is a petting zoo, or an "animal farm," as it prefers to be called. my dad used to take me every sunday, no matter the weather conditions. until i was about 11 or so, there were your typical animals to be petted: goats, sheep, pigs, cows, donkeys, geese, ducks, rabbits, etc. - and then came the llamas.

- they were really cool at first, especially when i knew their names (i think the brown one was sir jeffery and the white one was isabelle. or i might have just made that up right now. i'm not sure). so since they were so cool, i asked one of the petting zoo ladies (animal farming ladies, sorry) what they especially liked to eat, so that i could single handedly make them happy. oats, she replied.

- oats indeed. i made my parents go out and buy some for the next sunday. and the next sunday, i was all prepared with my oats and my 11 year old braveness. i walked up to the brown llama (sir jeffery, in my mind, anyway) with my arms outstretched, offering him the world. and he accepted.

- for a few moments, anyway. he munched the oats for probably five seconds, then kind of snorted, looked at me, and spat on me... with the oats in his mouth.

- needless to say, it was gross. so llamas aren't exactly in my good books, as it were.

- not only that, but they had the audacity to tack an extra letter in front of their name. no offense to anyone named lloyd (well really, i do mean offense to people named lloyd, and anyone else who was a double consonant to start their name), but who does that? would i be better off if my name was hheather? no! it's just stupid.

- just for fun... since we're on the topic of llamas, go here.