the cup

- i had to go get blood taken today.

- i also had to give some urine, and that's the idea i'm going to centre around, so if you don't want to hear about it, i suggest not reading any further.

- i was in the little, impersonal bathroom (which was not nearly soundproof enough), trying to figure out how to hold the dinky little cup as to not urinate on myself, when i started thinking about how the cup is a really impractical idea for those of the female persuasion.

- you see, we don't really have any way of aiming. sometimes it goes straight down, sometimes it goes all over the legs, and sometimes it does a little bit of both. hell, it's hard even to control the pressure of the flow. so how can we be expected to pee into the cup?

- and the cup itself is quite offensive. it's tiny, first of all. so they're either saying, "you should be skilled enough to aim your urine into this tiny container" (and then make you feel even worse when you can't), or "look at how tiny of a bladder you have" (and then make you feel disgusting when your urine takes up more space than the cup and dribbles onto your hands instead).

- and it's clear. that, to me, means the manufacturers of the cup intend for the stupid thing to taunt you when it's not full. "hey, look at me," it says, "i'm still empty. your bladder is really shitty."

- sometimes i wish i was a boy.