Saturday, August 28, 2004

keep on thuggin'

- i would like to present you with a scenario.

- first, imagine that you're me and that you work at toys r us. good. now, one day, your given task is to get boxes out of the back, open them, and put the stuff inside of them onto shelves. to do so, i'm sure you can imagine yourself using a flatcart, a ladder, and a very handy, very portable, very shiny box cutter.

- now imagine that you store the box cutter in your back pocket for convenience sake. good. let a couple of hours go by. you forget about the box cutter and you go home and you take off your pants.

- the next day, your mother decides to go through your pants, and finds the box cutter. imagine really hard: what does she say to you?

"heather, are you in a gang?"

Thursday, August 26, 2004

o, canada

- if all of my other reasons for loving canada suddenly ceased to exist, i think i've just found one to replace them all.

- americans have reality shows where people have to decide whether they prefer love or money, or they get to survive in a house with all the necessities given to them, or, my personal favourite, they can choose a spouse for their parent.

- canadians, on the other (much more mitten-accustomed) hand, have reality shows that involve trying out for an nhl hockey team.

- our national anthem puts it "god, keep our land, glorious and free," but i'd say mostly glorious.

Monday, August 16, 2004

so fresh and so clean

- whenever i get new pens or pencils or paper, i feel the need just to write. it doesn't matter what or why, but i write.

- this feeling is the worst when i get a new notebook. i love notebooks, but i feel the need to fill them with anything and everything. i don't know why. just thought you'd like to know.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

mr. artist got my title

- when i was younger, every morning at around ten, my friends and i would group together on someone's front porch, huddled with our pencils and drawring (sorry i felt like being english there for a moment) books.

- what were we doing, you ask? we were designing the bad guys we would face in our afternoon game of "fight the bad guy," loosely based on mega man.

- my favourite bad guy that i ever created was this guy called "mr. artist."

- mr. artist was ultimate because he had this all powerful pencil and also an all powerful eraser that he could use anytime on anything. this means that instead of challenging you to a duel, he could just erase your sword. or even better, your limb.

- no one else really liked mr. artist. maybe it was too creative for them. maybe they felt too powerless against his wrath. maybe they were all boys and just wanted things that looked ugly instead of bad guys with any sort of flair. yeah, that sounds about right.

- all i can say is that i wish mr. artist was around now to get rid of this bloody sty on my eye. (am i the only one that feels ridiculously frilly when they say that? an eye sty?)

Tuesday, August 3, 2004

just like a one-winged dove

- it is very distressing to me that i am the only one who listed "chasing seagulls" as an interest in my blogger profile.

- have you people not lived?