Sunday, April 17, 2005

and all this solitude is my confidence eroding

- i had so much to say. so many fun topics and silly stories.

- but then i found a girl who was in trouble. and i almost watched her die. and i felt bad for not knowing how to save her life. she didn't die, and i found someone who did know how to save her life. i still felt bad.

- but the fun and silly is definitely gone for the time being.

- i have felt completely powerless since then.- it was scarier than those two car accidents i was in.- the taste of life is precious, so savour it with every breath.

- intelligence is artificial. sure, i can get a 95 average, but i know nothing about me.

- i don't know what this post means. i feel guilty. am i delerious? is that how you spell delerious? how can i have so much and still feel so empty? i have so many feelings, but somehow i'm numb. i think i'm a failure, but i'm not sure. why can't i sleep this off? why can't i sleep at all?

- i think that i would ramble forever, if i didn't think that my brain was going to turn off soon. the caffeine is doing me no good. have i ever been this incoherent before? i wish i had pizza. yeah, pizza.

- i'm going to go get pizza.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

the best policy

- for years, i've found all meat besides the two common poultries to be offensive in most ways. i never really had a reason for this.

- when you really think about it, there aren't many things that are less appealing than a pig's ass, but a chicken's breast comes pretty close. and so it certainly couldn't be the idea that i don't like eating animals, since chicken is about one of my favourite foods.

- i also don't care about saving the animals. i mean, i do care about saving the animals, i just don't care enough to do anything about it. mean? yes. but hey, at least i'm honest. and everybody likes honesty, right?

- so i got to thinking about meat and asses and honesty, and it all sort of clicked:

- chicken and turkey are honest meats. they don't try to hide behind some other name that would camouflage the reality of what they are, simply to protect the innocence of those indulging in them. do you really think mcdonalds would be so popular if burgers were really called "piece of those moo-moos we see on our way to grandma's house?" would hotdogs really be so hot (get it, it's a pun) if it was called "random assortment of parts that were left over after all the good stuff was taken?"

- it's not much of an explanation (or an argument, really), but i think that's it.