officer spanky pants

- i was having a terrible day yesterday, and after work i came out to my car and saw an alarming note on my windshield:

- 'this is a ticket. you are parked in the "aardvarks only" space. send eleventy billion dollars to owen.'

- and it was signed, 'the police.'

- yeah, i'm smiling.

ricky's not smartin

- if you've ever worked in retail, you're probably aware of the strategy of piecing/recovering/straightening done at the end of the night to make the store look clean and shoppable in the morning. this is a custom we practice at the toy store.

- often, one of the aisles for which i am responsible for piecing is the puzzle aisle.

- in the puzzle aisle, there is this gigantic puzzle poster of ricky martin. i am proud to say that no matter how messy and disgusting the store has gotten, no matter how many kids have missed the toilet or puked all over the place, i have never once had to readjust the ricky martin puzzle poster.

droplets of splendor

- i love the rain because it makes me feel safe. i feel like every little droplet is falling just to be with me. they witness the world as thy fall and then join together once they reach the ground. all the way down, they discover your secrets and hopes and loves and dreams, but they won't tell a soul - not even you.

- also... i think it would be really fun to have sex in a hammock while it's raining.