Monday, March 7, 2005

under there

- when we're born, we're the little understood creatures called "babies." these poor unfortunate souls, for the majority of the first while in their little lives, are forced to wear garments under their clothes ("undergarments," if you will) called diapers.

- diapers, in case you hadn't noticed, are more or less unisex. as children age, however, girls' underwear becomes more and more small and boys underwear becomes more and more large. other possible terms are skimpy and airy, respectively.

- this continues through high school and party time (er... college), and, as far as i can understand, until about the third child, at which point, girls stop worrying about "satisfying their man" and boys stop worrying about "keeping their man aired out." and so girls get bigger panties, and boys get smaller panties. and by panties, i obviously mean the manly equivalent.

- this trend continues until, at about age 70, failing eyes and stunningly similar underwear are the two leading factors of couples forced to mark their underwear with their initials so they don't mix them up.- and then, and 80, the cycle is finished, and there is once again a return to the completely unisex diaper.

- oh life. how just you are.