Sunday, January 23, 2005

mind your manners

- being a high school student is difficult. there are so many tests of character, life-altering decisions, betrayals, and loves that it's hard to know what to do with yourself. the hardest thing, though, is knowing your hallway manners.

- you'd think it would be easy: you see people you know, you wave. you see your friends, you say hi.

- but it's not. what if the people you know are with a group of friends? what if your friends are with people you don't like? what if someone you might normally wave to is with a group of people ranked cooler thank you? what if someone you normally wouldn't do anything to is the only other person going down the hall so you can't pretend to not see them?

- generally, the rules go (as far i can understand) that if someone's alone, and you know so much as their name, you at least nod. in a big group situation, you pretend you don't' know them, unless you're also friends with the majority of the people in the group. if there's someone you wouldn't normally talk to, and there's lots of people around, it's a-okay to pretend you don't see them. if someone is with a significant other, you pretend you don't see them - not because they won't wave back, but because you don't want to be associated with love. love is not good for the persona.

- as you can see, the whole situation is rather difficult and they begin to cause emotional overload. so to all those people out there who think teenagers whine for nothing, i hope you've learned better today. hallway manners are a hard thing to understand.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

bond, james bond

- you know commercial with the little stick boy who is trying to advocate all sorts of joyous family bonding time that can occur over a wonderful game of candyland?

- well, tonight, my friends and i decided that family bonding time occurring over a wonderful board game is an excellent thing to experience with friends.

- so we had game night.

- we played headbanz, poker, scene it, taboo, and dirty minds. we ordered (no joke) ninety-six dollars worth of pizza, ate a gigantic volume of snacks, and shouted out both correct and absurd answers at ridiculous volumes.

- all in all, it was a good night. terrible things really would have had to happen in order to have had ninety-six dollars worth of pizza and not had an excellent time.

- basically, what i'm saying is, in the future, try not to be so wary of stick figures in the future, even if they are promoting family time. it turns out that some serious bondage really did take place tonight, and not just in dirty minds.

Saturday, January 1, 2005

canada, eh?

- today is canada day, and i will inform you of why it is great.

1. we're athletic. baseball, lacrosse, hockey, and basketball are all canadian. on the other hand, with the current state of baseball and hockey, and the way the nba draft went for the only canadian team, the raptors, and the fact that we're the only country who really seems to enjoy lacrosse, i'm not sure we have much to be proud of anymore.

2. we're tough. we have the largest french population to never surrender to the british, and the largest english population to never surrender to anyone, anywhere. also? the average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.

3. we're smart. we invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, and superman. our elections take only one day (a cheap shot, i know), and the handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on.

4. we have excellent beer commercials. here's my personal favourite.

hear me roar

- sometimes, i just want to get up atop a hill and yell. (and maybe see where the grass is the greenest.)

- i don't care what i say. for example,

- "giraffes have long necks!"

- "if bejamin were an ice cream flavour, he's be pralines and dick!"

- "i haven't washed my underpants in three weeks!"

- and "toe socks enjoy the sound of tomatoes!"

are all things that i would consider yelling.