Monday, June 27, 2005

stalkers two

- some people might think it would be really creepy to be stalked, what with the being followed and what not, but i actually like it, since my stalkers are an alcoholic beverage and a pretty rockin' rock band.

- this all started about a month and a half ago, i would say. once day, some of my friends went to subway on our lunch break. conveniently parked behind the subway (generally out of sight) was a very large beer store truck.

- of course, my first thought was to steal it. but instead i went in and purchased a juice.

- that's not shifty, i know. but the very same beer store truck has been spotted by me near us on several more occasions since, always in areas, like the subway, conspicuously away from the nearest beer store. interesting... stalker one.

- okay, folks, let's play a game: what's red and hot and chili and peppery? one might guess the red hot chili peppers, and one would be right. but one would also be right if one guessed my other stalker.

- ever since that fateful night at least a month ago when michael de jourdan and i went to zehrs and purchased bubbles, whenever he and i are in a vehicle at the same time and the radio is one, the red hot chili peppers come on.

- i like the red hot chili peppers. so does michael de jourdan. these facts make the stalking arrangement work out quite nicely for all parties involved.

- now all that's left to do is to get drunk and listen to the red hot chili peppers.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

but your soul was willing

- i am going to dropkick people in the face.

- an e-mail showed up in my inbox. it said, "I celebrate Christmas, but because it isn't celebrated by everyone, we can no longer say Merry Christmas. Now it has to be Season's Greetings... We've gone so far the other way, bent over backwards to not offend anyone, that I am now being offended. But it seems that no one has a problem with that... [and then, in giant, 40 point writing]... IMMIGRANTS, NOT Canadians, MUST ADAPT."

- why should we have to say merry christmas to everyone? it makes sense that we're not saying merry christmas to everyone because everyone doesn't celebrate christmas. saying merry christmas to someone who doesn't celebrate christmas is like wishing a happy menstruation to a seventy year old man. there's just no need for it.

- on the other hand, wishing you season's greetings or happy holidays does make sense. why is that you might ask? because you're celebrating a holiday. how is hoping that your holiday is happy offensive? oh right, because you're a stupid fuck.

"I am now being offended. But it seems that no one has a problem with that."

- you're very wrong. i have a huge problem with that. my problem isn't what's happening, though, it's that you have a problem with it. you are offended by people taking an interest in respecting all of the cultures of canada. that makes you an ignorant jackass.

- my biggest problem, though, comes with the idea that 'immigrants, not canadians, must adapt.' unless you're native american, you're an immigrant at some point in your history. this gives you two choices:
1. you mean that we all must do things as the native americans do.
2. what you really mean is that you're sorry you're so stupid and insensitive and you'll rethink sending mass e-mails to everyone on your contact list just so that you can perpetuate the cycle of ignorance. you realize that you or your family was in the same situation as immigrants are today, and together, people who were already here and your family came together to make canada the multicultural nation that it is today. in the future, you will be more accepting of other people and you will try to further the idea that canada is a good place to live because there is so much diversity, rather than trying to mush all of the diversity away by stomping on it like the monstrous goon you are.

Monday, June 6, 2005

burn, baby, burn

- thunderstorms are one of the few things that i feel can revert us to our natural state. you can sit outside before a thunderstorm and simply know that something massive is coming. it has that peculiar feeling that resonates throughout your bones - it's electric, and it's impossible for us to ignore. it seems to be the only occurrence that we can still feel, the only thing that really proves we are still connected to this world in a physical sense.

- somehow, although there is so much suspense and tension in the air pre, during, and post thunderstorm, the sky seems tired, as if it's being weighed down from years of worries and anxieties. - when i was sitting outside, i could tell the definitive moment when the air went from being hot to being cold. i like to think that it's symbolic of life, that even in something so vast and confusing, there can be certainties.

- i love the moment in the thunderstorm when it starts to rain, especially if there's been thunder and lightning for quite some time before it. if you feel connected to the storm, this is the moment when you to can release anything that's been holding you back. this is the moment when you can feel utterly free. this is the moment that, above all else, you feel alive.