Thursday, April 29, 2004

- i've talked about hot pockets before - about how they are glorious. and wonderful. and the food ones are delicious.

- but today i realized the error of my ways.

- i was at work trying to get some girl all set up on the computer. and since i am amazing, i was successful in my attempts. so she sat there for like 10 minutes, working on the computer. she is not amazing, so when she was done, she didn't shut down her program, so i had to go work my magic.

- in order to do so with ease and comfort, i helped myself to the seat in which she had just been seated. and it was warm.

- but not in the pleasant way. not in the way that might make you say "ooh, how pleasantly warm."

- no, no. it was so warm, it felt almost mushy. like when you put tupperware in the microwave, then realize it's not supposed to be in the microwave, and you take it out right before it starts to warp. it was pretty gross.

- in conclusion, not all hot pockets are good. i stand corrected.

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

- is it wrong that in a world of love and fun and life and sleep and sex and sugar and doritos that the thing that gives me the most pleasure is not having homework? well. maybe not more than the doritos. but almost.

- really, that is a sick, sick truth. what is the world coming to? i barely smile when i see some of my friends in the hall. i don't have time to talk to my own mother. i drudge through my days not caring. but then, when i realize i don't have homework, i jump and dance and yell.

- does it get better, oh adults? is there a point where real things start to matter again? or am i lost forever?

Monday, April 26, 2004

- j'ai décidé d'écrire en français içi, car je ne l'ai pas encore fait. je sais bien que mon français écrit [ et parlé ] est pas mal horrible, mais aucun de mes amis le parle d'un niveau élevé non plus.

- si vous parlez le français, j'aimerais m'excuser pour avoir écrit ceci.

- la raison que j'écris en français est que j'ai voulu citer un extrait du livre l'étranger, par albert camus, depuis longtemps. le voici:

- "devant cette nuit chargée de signes et d’étoiles, je m’ouvrais pour la première fois à la tendre indifférence du monde. de l’éprouver si pareil à moi, si fraternel enfin, j’ai senti que j’avais été heureux, et que je l’étais encore. pour que tout soit consommé, pour que je me sente moins seul, il me restait à souhaiter qu’il y ait beaucoup de spectateurs le jour de mon exécution et qu’ils m’accueillent avec des cris de haine."

- je ne sais pas pourquoi je l'adore tellement, mais il semble être très romantique, pour une raison ou une autre. même s'il parle de sa morte.

Monday, April 19, 2004

- it is tv turnoff week. so turn off your television. turn it off!

- if anyone happens to get the chance to read adbusters, please do. i have read one issue and i fell in love with it. it supports anarchy and is against bad things. like mcdonalds. and george bush. (caitlin, just let me have this one.)

- some things adbusters suggests you do:
- find a relatively busy place and stand perfectly still for 10 minutes
- take off your clothes and observe your body in a mirror. see it as naked for five minutes, see it as nude for five minutes
- sit still in your home with the power off for 15 minutes. then sit still with every appliance turned on for 15 minutes
- observe your toilet bowl for 15 minutes
- drink only hot water for several days - it may taste sweet, or earthy; it may remind you of your own blood

Friday, April 16, 2004

- the other day at work, i spotted someone eating ritz bits sandwiches. ever since then, i have been craving them desperately.

- tonight, i purchased a box of them. so i was sitting here, eating my cheese cracker sandwich things, and i realized that they tasted more processed than anything i had ever eaten.

- and i didn't mind.

- it says right here on the box, 'with real kraft cheese.' i almost have to believe there's real cheese in the packaging rather than in the "cheese." again, i don't care.

- these things are delicious. really.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

- in my school, there are (if i can count) 5 vending machines. i am in love with one.

- i call him old vendy, and he is mine. well not really. he sits along side the snack vending machine and the ultra spiffy new drink vending machine. all he wants is to sell you water, or possibly juice, perhaps even a carbonated beverage. all you have to do is feed him his fuel of life and tell him what you desire.

- and you know what he does then?

- he yells (well - he kind of just puts it up in capital electronatized [ electronawhat? ] letters) VEND!

- and then you get your beverage. have fun.

Sunday, April 11, 2004

- last night, i went outside to contemplate the meaning of life. it was snowy and cold, but i didn't really feel anything. neither the numbness of my hands nor the wetness of my tears. i sat and thought.

- then a boy walked by. i recognized him, because i see him almost every day. just walking. he always wears the same sweater. it's black and it says in giant white caps on the back 'hey ho, let's go.' my mom read it out loud, once. i laughed at her.

- it occurred to me that his footsteps seemed too loud when everything else was so quiet. the only other noise was the rustle of trees. but his footsteps were loud.

- then i wondered if he was God. i seriously considered that thought for a while. as he was walking by, i asked him to give me a sign. a glance in my direction, a slight nod, even a cough. but he just kept on walking. and it was quiet again.

- i thought it was very symbolic.

Friday, April 9, 2004

- there's something refreshing about yelling so much that you can't speak without great difficulty.

- our school band concert was tonight. i think we sounded pretty good. yay us.

- but afterwards is what really matters: we all went back to breanna's for a party. that's right, i went to a party. (not a real party, mind you, there was no alcohol... but still... lots of people in a social setting means i'm moving up the social ladder.... or at least finding other losers with whom to spend time)

- at breanna's, we played a super intense game of spoons, during which i had a chunk of skin clawed out of my pinky by my lovely and wonderful friends julie and owen. i also got a pair of socks donated to me by breanna's 10 year old brother, via breanna's parents.

- aaaand we sat around a bonfire. singing. loudly. sometimes, pleasant songs (for example, when we sang beatles' songs). sometimes, not-so-pleasant songs (for example, when we sang the spice girls' songs). but it was all fun.

Sunday, April 4, 2004

- sorry about the typical kind of post, but here are a few things i learned today:

- boys are good stuff holders.
- the principal doesn't really care whether you go to math class or not.
- if you have a scab, and you pick it, it will always bleed.
- it's always possible to find something to criticize.
- papercuts between fingers can be cured with sweat.
- people will never appreciate what you do.
- day 2 hair only ever looks bad if you need it to look good.
- there are two kinds of swallows.

Saturday, April 3, 2004

- when i left my house today to drive maddie home, a thought ran through my head: "what if this is the last time i'm ever home?" it kind of creeped my out, but then, i'm weird, so i went on my merry way.

- on the way home from maddie's, i decided that i needed money, so i went to the drive-through at my bank. once i had all my cards and papers and bills and such in order, i went to the driveway thing and prepared myself to make a left across the busiest road in my city.

- i had probably been sitting there for about five minutes when i finally got a considerable break in traffic, so out i went. and out i stopped. that's right, my car stopped moving halfway across two lanes of traffic in the middle of the busiest road in my city.

- aah!

- my first thought was that i was out of gas. i looked at my gas gauge. it was more than half full. well, was i in the proper gear? yup, the big orange D told me so. "wait - drive? but... i'm going... backwards?"

- so my car had stopped moving for an instant, then it started moving backwards. to me, that was better than nothing - at least i was getting out of the road, a little. so my car put itself nicely back into the parking lot from which i had just emerged. did i say nicely? i meant that my front half was still halfway into the road.

- by this time, traffic had started making its way towards me. cars were forced to stop and go around and such. i honestly thought i was going to die, and the breakdown started. i started crying. i was just waiting for someone to come along and not be paying enough attention. as i watched one car make its way around me, it struck me as hilarious that the last thing i might see would be this carload of chinese people staring at me in awe, wonder, and surprise.

- i was incredibly desperate now. i decided to put my car into reverse, to see if it would be nice and reverse me into the parking lot. apparently, it was opposite day today; it went forward.

- after that, i'm not really sure what happened. i think i turned my key about a bagillion times, put my foot on the brake and gas pedals repeatedly, and probably changed gears a lot, too. finally, my car went the rest of the way into the parking lot.

- i don't know how i made it into a parking spot, as i couldn't even see at this point, and i also don't know how i managed to dial my phone number, but i talked to my dad and he biked up to rescue me. then i called maddie and cried at her. then i hung up and cried some more. then my dad got there and everything was better.

Thursday, April 1, 2004

- my music teacher likes his chair. a lot.

- owen and i stole his chair. we left a ransom note with correct spelling and grammar. he looked for his chair. a lot.

- he found us chair. he made us right a lot of lines (the spelling and grammar gave me away, jeff gave owen away). a lot.

- he left the room again. we thought he was a big idiot for leaving the room again. we stole his chair again. we left a ransom note again. he didn't find his chair this time. after class, we took his chair for a "stroll" around to the front of the school to partake in a lovely class photograph.

- "mr. s," said the announcement lady, a few minutes later, "your new chair is here."

- it had a bow on it.

- he's going to make us write a lot of lines tomorrow. a lot.