- i am going to dropkick people in the face.
- an e-mail showed up in my inbox. it said, "I celebrate Christmas, but because it isn't celebrated by everyone, we can no longer say Merry Christmas. Now it has to be Season's Greetings... We've gone so far the other way, bent over backwards to not offend anyone, that I am now being offended. But it seems that no one has a problem with that... [and then, in giant, 40 point writing]... IMMIGRANTS, NOT Canadians, MUST ADAPT."
- why should we have to say merry christmas to everyone? it makes sense that we're not saying merry christmas to everyone because everyone doesn't celebrate christmas. saying merry christmas to someone who doesn't celebrate christmas is like wishing a happy menstruation to a seventy year old man. there's just no need for it.
- on the other hand, wishing you season's greetings or happy holidays does make sense. why is that you might ask? because you're celebrating a holiday. how is hoping that your holiday is happy offensive? oh right, because you're a stupid fuck.
"I am now being offended. But it seems that no one has a problem with that."
- you're very wrong. i have a huge problem with that. my problem isn't what's happening, though, it's that you have a problem with it. you are offended by people taking an interest in respecting all of the cultures of canada. that makes you an ignorant jackass.
- my biggest problem, though, comes with the idea that 'immigrants, not canadians, must adapt.' unless you're native american, you're an immigrant at some point in your history. this gives you two choices:
1. you mean that we all must do things as the native americans do.
2. what you really mean is that you're sorry you're so stupid and insensitive and you'll rethink sending mass e-mails to everyone on your contact list just so that you can perpetuate the cycle of ignorance. you realize that you or your family was in the same situation as immigrants are today, and together, people who were already here and your family came together to make canada the multicultural nation that it is today. in the future, you will be more accepting of other people and you will try to further the idea that canada is a good place to live because there is so much diversity, rather than trying to mush all of the diversity away by stomping on it like the monstrous goon you are.
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Monday, June 6, 2005
burn, baby, burn
- thunderstorms are one of the few things that i feel can revert us to our natural state. you can sit outside before a thunderstorm and simply know that something massive is coming. it has that peculiar feeling that resonates throughout your bones - it's electric, and it's impossible for us to ignore. it seems to be the only occurrence that we can still feel, the only thing that really proves we are still connected to this world in a physical sense.
- somehow, although there is so much suspense and tension in the air pre, during, and post thunderstorm, the sky seems tired, as if it's being weighed down from years of worries and anxieties. - when i was sitting outside, i could tell the definitive moment when the air went from being hot to being cold. i like to think that it's symbolic of life, that even in something so vast and confusing, there can be certainties.
- i love the moment in the thunderstorm when it starts to rain, especially if there's been thunder and lightning for quite some time before it. if you feel connected to the storm, this is the moment when you to can release anything that's been holding you back. this is the moment when you can feel utterly free. this is the moment that, above all else, you feel alive.
- somehow, although there is so much suspense and tension in the air pre, during, and post thunderstorm, the sky seems tired, as if it's being weighed down from years of worries and anxieties. - when i was sitting outside, i could tell the definitive moment when the air went from being hot to being cold. i like to think that it's symbolic of life, that even in something so vast and confusing, there can be certainties.
- i love the moment in the thunderstorm when it starts to rain, especially if there's been thunder and lightning for quite some time before it. if you feel connected to the storm, this is the moment when you to can release anything that's been holding you back. this is the moment when you can feel utterly free. this is the moment that, above all else, you feel alive.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
victim of political pride
- i have always been bitter about never having received an easy bake oven in my childhood. besides a dog, it was the only thing that i ever really wanted. and now that i'm old enough to buy one for myself, it just seems silly, since i can use a real oven and make real food.
- and yet i'm still bitter. go figure
- and yet i'm still bitter. go figure
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
at least i'm flying free
- i have been 18 for four days and approximately eight hours, and i don't understand it at all. this is being an adult? i waited 18 years to feel like this? this feels like 12 and uncertain about my future. this feels like 7 and sure that all boys have cooties. this feels like 2 an unable to voice my thoughts in a coherent manner that will make them heard. this feels like 86 and senile.
- i still feel childish - perhaps even moreso now than i did before, because now it's rebellious. i don't particularly disagree with being childish, to be honest - it was never my decision to be an adult, after all.
- i still feel childish - perhaps even moreso now than i did before, because now it's rebellious. i don't particularly disagree with being childish, to be honest - it was never my decision to be an adult, after all.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
and all this solitude is my confidence eroding
- i had so much to say. so many fun topics and silly stories.
- but then i found a girl who was in trouble. and i almost watched her die. and i felt bad for not knowing how to save her life. she didn't die, and i found someone who did know how to save her life. i still felt bad.
- but the fun and silly is definitely gone for the time being.
- i have felt completely powerless since then.- it was scarier than those two car accidents i was in.- the taste of life is precious, so savour it with every breath.
- intelligence is artificial. sure, i can get a 95 average, but i know nothing about me.
- i don't know what this post means. i feel guilty. am i delerious? is that how you spell delerious? how can i have so much and still feel so empty? i have so many feelings, but somehow i'm numb. i think i'm a failure, but i'm not sure. why can't i sleep this off? why can't i sleep at all?
- i think that i would ramble forever, if i didn't think that my brain was going to turn off soon. the caffeine is doing me no good. have i ever been this incoherent before? i wish i had pizza. yeah, pizza.
- i'm going to go get pizza.
- but then i found a girl who was in trouble. and i almost watched her die. and i felt bad for not knowing how to save her life. she didn't die, and i found someone who did know how to save her life. i still felt bad.
- but the fun and silly is definitely gone for the time being.
- i have felt completely powerless since then.- it was scarier than those two car accidents i was in.- the taste of life is precious, so savour it with every breath.
- intelligence is artificial. sure, i can get a 95 average, but i know nothing about me.
- i don't know what this post means. i feel guilty. am i delerious? is that how you spell delerious? how can i have so much and still feel so empty? i have so many feelings, but somehow i'm numb. i think i'm a failure, but i'm not sure. why can't i sleep this off? why can't i sleep at all?
- i think that i would ramble forever, if i didn't think that my brain was going to turn off soon. the caffeine is doing me no good. have i ever been this incoherent before? i wish i had pizza. yeah, pizza.
- i'm going to go get pizza.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
the best policy
- for years, i've found all meat besides the two common poultries to be offensive in most ways. i never really had a reason for this.
- when you really think about it, there aren't many things that are less appealing than a pig's ass, but a chicken's breast comes pretty close. and so it certainly couldn't be the idea that i don't like eating animals, since chicken is about one of my favourite foods.
- i also don't care about saving the animals. i mean, i do care about saving the animals, i just don't care enough to do anything about it. mean? yes. but hey, at least i'm honest. and everybody likes honesty, right?
- so i got to thinking about meat and asses and honesty, and it all sort of clicked:
- chicken and turkey are honest meats. they don't try to hide behind some other name that would camouflage the reality of what they are, simply to protect the innocence of those indulging in them. do you really think mcdonalds would be so popular if burgers were really called "piece of those moo-moos we see on our way to grandma's house?" would hotdogs really be so hot (get it, it's a pun) if it was called "random assortment of parts that were left over after all the good stuff was taken?"
- it's not much of an explanation (or an argument, really), but i think that's it.
- when you really think about it, there aren't many things that are less appealing than a pig's ass, but a chicken's breast comes pretty close. and so it certainly couldn't be the idea that i don't like eating animals, since chicken is about one of my favourite foods.
- i also don't care about saving the animals. i mean, i do care about saving the animals, i just don't care enough to do anything about it. mean? yes. but hey, at least i'm honest. and everybody likes honesty, right?
- so i got to thinking about meat and asses and honesty, and it all sort of clicked:
- chicken and turkey are honest meats. they don't try to hide behind some other name that would camouflage the reality of what they are, simply to protect the innocence of those indulging in them. do you really think mcdonalds would be so popular if burgers were really called "piece of those moo-moos we see on our way to grandma's house?" would hotdogs really be so hot (get it, it's a pun) if it was called "random assortment of parts that were left over after all the good stuff was taken?"
- it's not much of an explanation (or an argument, really), but i think that's it.
Monday, March 7, 2005
under there
- when we're born, we're the little understood creatures called "babies." these poor unfortunate souls, for the majority of the first while in their little lives, are forced to wear garments under their clothes ("undergarments," if you will) called diapers.
- diapers, in case you hadn't noticed, are more or less unisex. as children age, however, girls' underwear becomes more and more small and boys underwear becomes more and more large. other possible terms are skimpy and airy, respectively.
- this continues through high school and party time (er... college), and, as far as i can understand, until about the third child, at which point, girls stop worrying about "satisfying their man" and boys stop worrying about "keeping their man aired out." and so girls get bigger panties, and boys get smaller panties. and by panties, i obviously mean the manly equivalent.
- this trend continues until, at about age 70, failing eyes and stunningly similar underwear are the two leading factors of couples forced to mark their underwear with their initials so they don't mix them up.- and then, and 80, the cycle is finished, and there is once again a return to the completely unisex diaper.
- oh life. how just you are.
- diapers, in case you hadn't noticed, are more or less unisex. as children age, however, girls' underwear becomes more and more small and boys underwear becomes more and more large. other possible terms are skimpy and airy, respectively.
- this continues through high school and party time (er... college), and, as far as i can understand, until about the third child, at which point, girls stop worrying about "satisfying their man" and boys stop worrying about "keeping their man aired out." and so girls get bigger panties, and boys get smaller panties. and by panties, i obviously mean the manly equivalent.
- this trend continues until, at about age 70, failing eyes and stunningly similar underwear are the two leading factors of couples forced to mark their underwear with their initials so they don't mix them up.- and then, and 80, the cycle is finished, and there is once again a return to the completely unisex diaper.
- oh life. how just you are.
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