- mario kart really is a classic game, because it makes absolutely no sense, but people still like it. i mean, a bunch of cartoon characters rave around in go-carts. that much is, if not believable, at least understandable.
- i also comprehend that competition would lead them to want to sabotage each other's game with anything they possibly could; everybody wants to win, right? because winning is everything.
- but really. who leaves boxes containing bananas and shells and lighting and ghosts sitting around a racetrack?
- how do you even get those things into boxes? i mean, bananas and shells are easy enough, i'm sure, though to be honest i've never tried. but lightning? ghosts? how to you capture said items and place them into something solid. lighting is unpredictable and deadly, and ghosts don't exist (and are deadly). can you imagine how many times someone actually fails at this job before they succeed?
- boss: "johnston! how many times do i have to tell you! get the lightning and put it inside the box! i don't care how many times it went through your body; through your body doesn't get results! get out there and fight it like a man, johnston."
- poor unfortunate employee: "but, sir -"
- boss: "don't be a pussy, johnston."
- poor unfortunate employee: *jumps out of the window*
- so really. he would go through all of this work and then just leave the damn boxes sitting around the racetrack carelessly? i think not.
- furthermore, some of the items just don't make sense. why does lightning make people small? why is a red shell more deadly than a green shell? why does a blue shell target the player in first? wouldn't an oil slick be a more effective slippery tool than a banana? so many questions are left unanswered.
- what a sweet game.
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