- it was a dark and stormy morning and i awoke in a pool of liquid. at first, i wondered if the liquid was my own blood, but alas, the liquid was not red.
- next, i pondered the possibility that my room had been flooded. i do live in the basement of a rather large building, and other unhealthy outcomes have resulted from said situation (copious amounts of festering mould being the most obvious of examples). however, it was just my face submerged in this mysterious liquid, and so a flooding would not really explain the situation.
- i then thought that perhaps i had left an open bottle of juice next to my head, and somehow in the middle of the night poured it all over my face. i licked my lips. this was not delicious, and therefore it could not have been juice, as we all know that juice is delicious.
- finally, i gave up on being all intellectual-like and decided to open my eyes to inspect the liquid. it was drool. i am disgusting.
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