Tuesday, February 3, 2004

- i've always thought that losers knew they were losers. cool people know they're cool; dumb jocks jocks know they're dumb jocks (that's about all they know); so it only made sense to me that losers would know that they're losers.

- as an individual in the society that is high school, i've never know where to place myself on the oh-so-essential "ladder of cool". the ladder that determines who you talk to, who you're allowed to sit with in the cafeteria/library, how frequently you answer questions in class, etc. i never thought of myself as cool, but i didn't think i was a loser, either.

- so then at school the other day, as i was passing an acquaintance and her group of friends in the hall, she said (directed partly to me, so that i would know what was being discussed), "see? heather's walking alone; she doesn't look like a loser." i kind of smiled at first, taking this as a compliment.

- but then, i wondered:
- people are afraid of walking in halls alone in case people think that they're a loser? does that mean the same people assume that people walking in halls alone are losers?
- i walk by myself all the time, i thought.

- in came the voices: [alert! alert! you are a loser!]

- i was awestruck for a moment. let's say two moments, just to be dramatic. it all kind of... well... fit.

- i am simply a loser, i decided.

- i also decided to blog about it. just to warn anyone else who might have had the same misconceptions as i did. beware: losers don't know they're losers. it happened to me; it could happen to you, too.